i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
