I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Someone shattered a urinal.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
