When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
