eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
