I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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