there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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