At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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