Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
