They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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