no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
