You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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