my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
