Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
