That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
