Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
