Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's always time for handjobs
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
