she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
