I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
