Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My vagina just recognized that song.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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