I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
