How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
