dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
