Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
