He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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