drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
