I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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