Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
