Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
