I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
