just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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