It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
