Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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