We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
