She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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