the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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