You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
