theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
