That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
