I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Buhtt sex?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
