If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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