i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
