its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
