OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
