something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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