I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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