I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
