FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
