We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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