I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
