dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I won the penis lottery.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
