How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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