Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
