Fuck appropriateness.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
